Doug Melvin: Well if Ron’s gone, and I’m still the GM, who were you thinking about for manager?
Mark A: I was thinking about Lou Brown.
Lou: These guys hit a ton, how come nobody else picked up on them?
Doug: Duke, throw Juan a curveball.
Zach Duke: (Nods)
Lou: I see.
Doug: Kyle, throw Mark a fastball.
Kyle: OK then.
Lou: Oooooooohkay. Son, why did you try to swing at that and not just get out of the way?
Mark: It looked like a strike.
Doug: And he’s probably the better hitter.
Lou: What about Davis here.
Doug: Oh, he can hit. No issues there.
Lou: So what’s his problem?
Doug: Khris! Hit the cutoff man!
Khris Davis: (Throws ball)
Ball: (flutter flutter flutter…bounce…………bounce……..bounce…..bounce…bounce..bounce.bounce.bounce)
Khris Davis: (Runs up to ball, picks it up, throws again.)
Lou Brown: Can he play first base?
Doug Melvin: He cannot.
Lou Brown: Can he play left field?
Doug Melvin: Well, sort of.
Brandon Kintzler: Ryan, what’s all that shit in your locker?
Ryan Braun: Antler powder, Vagisil, Oxygenated blood, any one of them will…
Brandon Kintzler: Wait, Vagisil?
Ryan Braun: …give you 5-10 more MPH off the bat. Got them from my buddy in Miami…
Brandon Kintzler: But Vagi….
Ryan Braun: They’re doctors and everything.
Brandon Kintzler: Ryan, I think someone might be having some fun with you.
Ryan Braun: We’re not all young kids Brandon. When you get to be my age you need to use any edge you can get. Some day you will too.
Brandon: Yeah, probably not on the Vagisil.
Rickie Weeks: Lou, I want to talk to you. My contract specifically says I do not have to do any calisthenics I feel are unnecessary.
Lou: Look Rickie, if you don’t start getting to more balls or at least hitting, I’m going to have to go another direction. Kid, get Rickie a bat.
Scooter Gennett: I’m not a bat boy sir.
Lou: Sure kid, what’s your name?
Scooter Gennett: Scooter.
Lou: Can we get this kid a jersey with “Scooter” on the back? We got one for that dog. I like this kid.
Scooter: I already have a jersey with my last name on it. I play 2nd base! I’m competing with Rickie.
Lou: Kid, I hope Rickie plays another ten years so that when you’re twenty-one you can realize that dream.
Lou: Where have you been pitching?
K-rod: Florida penal league.
Doug: So, can you work with this?
Lou: My kind of team Dougie. My kind of team
May 15th, 2014
Uecker: Just a reminder, fans, comin’ up is our “Die-hard Night” here at the stadium. Free admission to anyone who was actually alive the last time the Brewers won a pennant.