RRR, AKA Buck Funting had quite the weekend of throwing away outs as if they’d been sneezed on by individual Anthrax viruses. Dale Sveum, having done whatever the opposite of learning* is under Ron, did his best to match the maestro.
We’re not vindictive here so we won’t count pitcher sacrifices or bunt singles.
1. Tony Campana kicked off the buntacolypse in the top of the 8th inning with Alfonso Soriano shockingly getting on base. The speedster, who is almost certainly better off trying to bunt for a single even when sacrificing, popped out harmlessly to Jonathan Lucroy. Free Outs Given – Cubs -1, Brewers – 0
2. Cesar Izturis somehow managed to draw a walk from James Russell. Despite the fact that Russell had just walked baseball’s worst hitter Ol’ Buck called for a sacrifice from alleged first baseman Travis Ishikawa. Travis was “successful” at moving Izturis into scoring position for Brooks Conrad, who flied out to Fonzie, and Rickie Weeks, who is still trying to remember how to play baseball. FOG – Cubs – 1, Brewers – 1
3. In the top of the 10th Wellington Castillo led off with a double because Tim Dillard is a horrible pitcher. As if the double was not enough proof of this fact, and to make up for the Izturis walk earlier, Dillard then walked Darwin Barney. But the Cubs get uncomfortable if they go too long without giving up an out, so Dale called for Ian Stewart to lay down a sacrifice. The Brewers ran the wheel play and nailed Castillo at third, eventually escaping the inning unscathed when Reed Johnson and David Dejesus couldn’t get it done. FOG – Cubs – 2, Brewers – 1
4. Since the Brewers were kind enough to let Barney walk in the top half of the 10th the Cubs, in an effort to make sure no one’s feelings were hurt, walked Izturis AGAIN. Alleged first baseman Travis Ishikawa was asked to sacrifice AGAIN. And he “succeeded”. However, Izturis, having only limited experience at being on second base, took off for third on a grounder to Ian Stewart, the 3rd baseman. This went exactly as well as you would expect. No one scored. FOG – Cubs – 2, Brewers – 2
5. In the bottom of the 12th Jonathan Lucroy walked. Buck “RRR” Funting, worried that the universe might explode if Izturis were to walk 3 times in one game, called for a sacrifice. Izturis, showing that he’s every bit as good a bunter as a base runner popped out to Kerry Wood. Travis Ishikawa was so shocked by getting to swing away that he struck out, although this act instantly restored his comfort. No one scored again. FOG – Cubs – 2, Brewers – 3
6. Reed Johnson and his gritty high socks singled to lead off the inning. David DeJesus, who earlier in the game hit a Grand Slam and a triple, was asked to sac bunt** because a sac bunt actually working was totally “due”, and really, what are the odds of DeJesus crushing another ball? DeJesus*** popped out to Vinnie Chulk. By the way, the Cubs’ two best hitters Starlin Castro and Bryan LaHair were due up, and the free out allowed the Brewers to pitch around LaHair and face Fonzie. FOG – Cubs – 3, Brewers – 3
That’s it for Friday. 6 free outs were given up by non-pitchers. The game-winning run scored on two HBPs and two singles.
On Sunday, the Brewers lost 8-2. But they momentarily led 1-0 in the bottom of the 4th when Ryan Braun walked to start the inning and Aramis Ramirez singled, bringing up the Brewers #5 hitter, Corey Hart, batting .254/.326/.534 with 7 HRs, including the game-tying HR in the 9th on Friday. He was asked to sacrifice bunt to move Braun and Ramirez into scoring position for Taylor Green and Brooks Conrad. Green managed to drive in Braun with a sac fly. 1-0. Woohoo!
…literally 5 minutes later…
Ian Stewart hit a solo HR to tie the game.
…another 5 minutes later…
Reed Johnson homered to put the Cubs up 2-1. Sure glad the Brewers gave up that out with 2 on and one of our best power-hitters batting to score one run! Maybe we should cut Ron some slack, after all, who could have predicted that a game started by the 5th starter and probably heavily featuring the bullpen would take more than one or two runs to win?
Back to Friday
RRR really shouldn’t be allowed to play with Kam Loe. Kam Loe is good at some things. He’s good at retiring righties. This year they hit .152/.206/.250 off of him. And this season, righties are hitting ground balls 55.6% of the time against Kam so he’s good at inducing DPs. Lefties, on the other hand, are hitting ground balls just 45.5% of the time against Kam, and, more troubling, they’re hitting .320/.346/.480 against him.**** Having Kam face a lefty with the bases loaded just isn’t a good idea. He might induce a double play, sure, but he’s pretty likely to get hit hard, and that’s exactly what happened.
*Blearning? Forglossing? Ignoramming?
**Even though I am a Brewer fan, the insanity of this sequence caused me to throw things, drop about 30 F-Bombs, and go on a massive twitter tirade. Sorry about that. This terrible managing contest probably took 6 months off my life.
***Don’t mess with DeJesus.
****His career numbers are very close to this. R – .245/.304/.364. L – .302/.362/.474